Be gentle with the elderly in the age of technology and human isolation...

We believe today that we live in a more connected world than ever before, but if we focus our microscope on our human relationships, we will discover that societies have become less cohesive. It is true that various digital communication means have brought distances closer, but they have created a deep gap between individuals within the same society.

In any family or friends gathering, we clearly notice the absence of continuous conversations and exciting stories because of that cursed device stuck to us to the point of addiction called the mobile phone. We sit like statues, each holding his phone with eyes following what appears on the screen, and conversations have been limited to brief replies and icy communication. Visits have become a heavy burden because they take people away from their virtual world for some time.

Unfortunately, modern societies are no longer measured by the strength of human bonds among their members, nor by their cohesion and compassion. Individuals are no longer attracted to those collective social activities that were previously an opportunity to expand the network of acquaintances. Today, under the influence of the fame craze that everyone is seeking, individuals have turned to isolation and living in their individual circles, focusing on how to build famous versions of themselves to earn quick money and satisfy human vanity.

The question here is, are we evolving in the face of these changes that have occurred in the value and social system, or are we heading towards more isolation that will lead to losing the essence of the human society based on real interaction between people?!

It seems that we are heading towards more isolation unless we regulate the way we use our time and distribute it fairly between our work and social activities so that the balance of social communication does not collapse and society does not disintegrate to become a group of individuals, each with a separate life divided between work and digital devices.

The nature of humans has changed due to these technologies and their impact on different generations. We live in a social system that includes all age and gender groups. So how can a fair interaction occur among them that preserves each one's privacy while keeping communication healthy, balanced, and intimate??! The problem is that today, amid this terrifying confusion, we no longer have the luxury of a clear mind and thought to listen to each other. Everyone wants to convey their idea and move on before listening to the other opinion. We have become revolving around the ego that has made individuals as if each lives on a separate planet, all the elements of life there being a phone screen and an internet line.

In fact, I see that the most disadvantaged age group under the digital world craze are the elderly, who have been left behind by the train of modernity and found themselves alone, watching the scene with astonishment between screens they do not understand and a fast-paced life that does not give them a chance to comprehend what is happening. Therefore, they feel isolated and that they do not belong to this era.

In a conversation with an acquaintance who is elderly, he told me literally: We must admit that we belong to the class of new illiterates. This term surprised me because the man holds a higher degree and is very cultured. I asked him for further clarification of his point of view, and he said to me: Haven't you noticed how difficult it is for us to learn modern technologies? We move slowly like turtles to catch up with successive updates, we get exhausted and learn only a little, in addition to our estrangement from each other. Therefore, I issued a decree not to use the phone during visits by my children and friends to restore the intimacy of meetings.

I thought about his words and felt a lump in my throat. Yes, the man was truthful in everything he said, and this made me think of focusing on the elderly group specifically in this article because I feel they are the weakest link in this era full of complexities and contradictions.

Have you noticed that when you gather with the elderly, they are always talking about their memories?! They cling to beautiful memories because they could not build new ones. Everything around them moves fast, even people have been stolen by the busyness of life and technology addiction. Therefore, their constant talk about the life of the past and people of the past is an indicator of their rejection or lack of harmony with the present, which makes them feel isolated and alienated.

They always feel that the old days were better than the present, that relationships were more sincere and strong, and that our time is fragile, everything in it is fast and not permanent. This is true because we no longer live in traditional societies like those we knew in the days of the good people. Rather, we are in an unspoken agreement to coexist despite our differences and changes in our habits. Coexistence here in its human sense does not mean building strong relationships but relationships within limited frameworks to manage life.

Therefore, the elderly live in a constant nostalgia that helps them continue in an environment different in form and content from the one they used to live in. Recalling their happy memories gives them warm positive feelings that warm the ice of the present and reduce boredom due to their limited physical and social activity.

They remember the past a lot and give examples from its events because this reinforces their sense of continuity. Therefore, they share with us their old stories and experiences because this gives them a feeling of importance and that they have a role in passing on some values, experiences, and knowledge to younger generations.

Because they find it difficult to adapt to technology and its complexities and the fast pace of life, they find in the past a comfortable reference and the safest circle for them, from which they can connect the past with the present so they do not completely disconnect from reality.

How can we make the elderly happy in the age of technology and reduce their feeling of isolation?

We do not deny that there is an important aspect of technology that helps the elderly overcome their isolation and longing for their children and grandchildren who live abroad. Therefore, I hope every expatriate pays attention to this aspect and dedicates time to these elders and communicates regularly with their parents, grandparents, and relatives through video and voice calls. There are many applications that provide this for free. It is very nice to record words of longing for them through a voice recording that carries the warmth of your feelings, but real human communication remains the foundation, and technology is a complementary factor.

Respect their choices and help them develop their interests through easy and comfortable applications. Then the elderly will feel that they belong to this era because the hardest thing is the feeling of insignificance. Deal with them with patience and respect when explaining how these applications work.

Bring grandchildren closer to learn some values from them. Ask for their opinions and advice in your life affairs because the elderly feel happy to continue giving, not just receiving. The elderly need to regain their status and self-confidence and to feel visible despite the busyness, to be heard, and that their opinion matters.

Parents or grandparents may pity their children or grandchildren because of their busyness and refrain from talking and remain silent. Therefore, the initiative should come from the children to open a dialogue, such as asking about their condition or even asking about funny or difficult situations they experienced in their youth. This will take them back to the stages of their lives they lived and inject wonderful energy into them. Just listening to them will make them soar with joy, and this will certainly positively affect their health.

Children, remember the elderly and dedicate a space for them in your daily map no matter how busy it is with details. Tell them about your work, ask for their prayers and consult them, ask if they need anything, follow the news and what is happening in the world around them so they do not feel isolated.

Our noble religion has taught us and drawn a clear path for dealing with elders, whether parents or grandparents, with politeness and respect. We do not say to them "ugh" or scold them. Therefore, children must always pay attention to the tone of voice they use when talking to elders and that their dealings with elders are not just out of duty but should show that they need the warmth of their closeness and sitting with them. Honoring them is a sincere presence and a true feeling of need for them.

Loneliness and isolation tire the heart, tear the soul, and make the elderly lose interest in life and not accept it. All the elderly want is a quiet life free of pressures, surrounded by their loved ones, sharing their stories and tales. Do not withhold this feeling from them, which brings them happiness and joy.

I conclude this article with a call to everyone whose screens have taken them away from real communication with their closest people: raise your heads a little, put your phones aside, and interact with your true feelings. These elders may leave us at any moment, so make use of their presence, make them happy, and be happy with them. Do not postpone visiting them because a minute with them today is more precious than an hour tomorrow that may never come. Honoring them is not an option but a blessing that opens the doors of goodness in this world and the door of forgiveness in the hereafter.

Stay well,

Salwa Hammad